Be a beginner

Somewhere, I think on a podcast, I heard something so great.

Chip Conley, an author who writes and talks about midlife transitions, said that when he goes to parties, he never asks people what they do. He has a different go-to question:

What are you a beginner at right now?

There’s a lot of talk in personal-development spaces about “beginner’s mind,” which refers to approaching situations, regardless of how familiar they are, with a fresh perspective—as if seeing them for the first time.

Also great. And I think Chip’s question is more useful.

He means it literally. What are you attempting in your life that’s brand new?

Your answer to this question, especially if you’re in midlife, may be “nothing.”

It’s easier to do things you know how to do. It’s safer to be able to predict the outcome. It’s more comfortable to walk the paths you’ve already traveled.

No doubt, being a beginner is uncomfortable. It can be embarrassing. It can feel pointless.

And yet being a beginner at something is one of the best ways to improve focus, reduce stress, and boost your mood.

I recently experienced this while attempting two new activities: golfing and surfing. Golf went better than surfing, but on both fronts:

Uncomfortable—check.
Embarrassing—check.
Pointless—nope.

The days I golfed and surfed are among the most memorable of my summer.

I had fun but I think the reason these days stand out is because I was present to what I was doing. I was incapable of putting anything on autopilot because everything was new to me. My mind and body were engaged, my phone was not. All of my attention was right there.

Being a beginner offers a glimpse of what it feels like to be fully present to your life.

Maybe that’s really what Chip is asking people at parties: Where in your life are you showing up with complete presence?

If it’s hard to answer that question without caveat, use the beginner hack.

Try a new activity.
Learn a new skill.
Use a new approach.

If my golfing and surfing experiences are any indication, achievement and productivity may elude you but the feeling of aliveness will be worth the ride.

Providence, RI
September 2025