Are you a multi-hyphenate?

I can’t remember when I first heard the term “multi-hyphenate” but I do remember feeling seen.

If you’re unfamiliar, a multi-hyphenate is someone who pursues multiple career paths at the same time. I’ve found it useful to expand the definition beyond work.

Multi-hyphenation is a style of engaging with the world. It’s an approach to life that allows for multiple interests, desires, and perspectives to co-exist.

Until my forties, I hadn’t kept the same job, lived in the same place, or stayed in the same relationship for more than three-and-a-half years.

Multi-hyphenation was my brand! Learning about it felt like permission to stop apologizing for, justifying, or explaining my choices.

Unfortunately, my permission slip didn’t get me very far because I saw my multi-hyphenate self through the lens of contradiction:

I need routine and structure but I feel trapped by 9-5 jobs.

I get bored of places easily but I crave stability and community.

I love being alone but I feel pulled to relationships.

Relating to myself this way made me feel flakey, indecisive, and undisciplined. I identified as someone who can’t stick with things and felt envious of people who are more singularly focused.

Coaching opened me up to the possibility that all my “but”s could be “and”s. My preferences could stay the same, and I could relate to them as opportunities instead of problems.

Seen through the lens of abundance, being a multi-hyphenate is expansive. You learn more things, have more experiences, and connect with more people.

Where in your life are you making a preference a problem because it doesn’t seem to fit with another part of you?

The but/and thing is a good catch for this. Notice when you’re using a “but” to describe yourself or something in your life. Try saying the same sentence using “and” in place of “but.”

I should mention, it doesn’t always feel like the mainstream’s got your back as a multi-hyphenate. Our education system encourages specialization. The job market rewards it. We’re told jacks of all trades are masters of none.

Interpersonally, multi-hyphenation can be a sticking point.

It’s human nature to want to make sense of people, to label them in ways we comprehend. When someone changes their mind a lot or leads a life of frequent pivots, it can leave others feeling confused or tired.

While we can’t control how other people experience us, the way we talk about our path influences the way it’s received—and in turn, traveled.

The scattered, non-committal version of the multi-hyphenate story is overwhelming. The curious, adventurous version is inspiring.

You get to decide: What’s your story?