Rethink the rules

Last weekend, my family celebrated Thanksgiving.

In the U.S., this holiday is traditionally observed in late November. Since schedules won’t allow us to gather then, we decided our Thanksgiving would happen in October this year.

We made all the usual dishes, had all the usual conversations. It felt exactly like “real” Thanksgiving. And got me thinking how little timing has to do with a holiday experience.

Holiday dates are just ideas we’ve collectively bought into. They’re unspoken rules that have become so ingrained in the culture that we’ve stopped questioning them.

This gets more interesting when you look beyond holidays. There are so many areas of life that are dictated by made-up rules we’ve unconsciously accepted. You could argue, most areas of life.

Time. Money. Work. Success. Beauty. Health. Aging. Sex. Food. Leisure. Parenting. Family. Friendship. Gender. Retirement. Communication. Spirituality. Politics. Creativity. Love. Death.

“That’s the way it is” runs rampant in all of these areas!

Most of us are living by a set of rules we don’t even remember agreeing to, allowing a bunch of well-worn habits to masquerade as truth.

What if you gave yourself permission to start breaking a few rules? Not as rebellion but as a reminder that you get to decide what’s true for you.

Eat dinner for breakfast.
Let the dog on the bed.
Delete the app.
Don’t reply.
Say no without explaining.
Start work at noon.
Decline the promotion.
Stay home.
Spend your savings.
Buy the rip.
Sell the dip.
Show up empty handed.
Go alone.
Leave because you’re bored.
Rent forever.

Precedent and tradition are not truth. They’re just stories we’ve told long enough to believe.

If you choose, you get to write your own rules.

Providence, RI
October 2025