Accountability is real
Two months ago I hired my first personal trainer.
Working out has always been a part of my life. My tastes have shifted—there have been running years, spinning years, kickboxing years, CrossFit years—but my ability to self-motivate was pretty consistent.
This changed about a year ago.
From 2021 until 2024, all my fitness-related efforts went toward pickleball. When my love for pickleball unexpectedly faded last year, I needed to find other ways to move my body.
For the first time in my life, I found this extremely challenging.
I couldn’t get myself to the gym. Taking a short run felt monumental. The home weights I bought collected dust.
I rebelled against this for a while, refusing to accept that I might need support. Being fit has been part of my identity for as long as I can remember. I DON’T NEED HELP BEING ME.
Except I did.
“Me” now is not the same person I was before I took three years off from traditional workouts. Before I entered perimenopause. Before I injured my shoulder and struggled to do one pushup.
So in May, I hired a personal trainer. Yesterday I realized how critical it’s been to my progress.
My trainer Henry and I have been meeting twice a week. We recently decided to add a third solo day—he programs the workout and I come into the gym and do it myself.
Yesterday was my first solo day. Here’s what occurred:
I didn’t set my alarm.
I didn’t commit to a start time (I loosely planned on 9am but got there around 9:25).
I felt like I didn’t know where to begin (even though Henry had written it out for me).
I forgot to pay attention to my form.
I did fewer sets than on Henry days.
I lifted less weight than on Henry days.
I didn’t push myself beyond what was comfortable.
It’s okay. Now I know where to tweak my system to create successful solo days. Still, it struck me that none of these things are an issue on the days I train with Henry.
The commitment I’ve made to him makes it so much easier to commit to myself. Accountability is real.
As a coach, I know this. And yet I was surprised when it showed up so glaringly in an area of my life that I have historically been able to manage on my own.
It was a good reminder: There’s a season for everything and sometimes those seasons include asking for help.
I hired Henry because I was struggling to be in integrity around strength training. I was saying getting stronger was important to me as I age, yet I wasn’t taking consistent action to achieve it.
Where in your life are you saying you’re committed to something without taking the actions required to create it?
Exercise is a common one. Here are some others:
Improving relationships
Eating healthy
Making money
Complaining or gossiping less
Getting organized
Being on time
Leaving a job or career
Moving to a new place
Finding purpose
Being loving
Communicating clearly
Holding boundaries
Taking risks
If you want to make progress in any of these areas and find yourself stalling, experiment with accountability and see if anything changes.
Finding someone to hold you accountable for the things you want to create in your life is one of the most powerful actions you can take.
For me, the first step toward meeting my strength-training goals was admitting I needed support. Once I stopped making that a problem, things got a lot easier.
Providence, RI
July 2025
